Memphis BBS History > Artificial Reality > One of Jason's Lists

#20/35 base: Artificial Reality
from: Denim
to : Kit
on : Thu 5-Jan-1995 1:42

I resolved the following: (you guesst it, time for a List)

    1) To say to people, "What on Earth are you talking about?" When it should
have been perfectly clear, just to piss htem offf.
    2) To start smoking.
    3) To buy a shotgun and carry it with me everywhere, complaining loudly
about those bastards trying to restrain my God-damned, God-given Second
Amendment Rights.
    4) Even in the non-smoking seciton.
    5) Especially in the non-smoking section, dammit, and I'm going to steal
cups from Pizza Hut.
    6) Amendment XVIII is hereby repealed.
    7) What on Earth are you talking about?
    8) I've got my Orange Crush... and I'm going to replace the obsolete model
"cat" with the updated version, the "cat v2.0" which looks a lot like a copy
of the lyrics to "American Pie."
    9) And i'll burn the cats in effigy (sp? it's late)
    10) No, I won't burn cats, let them live, just in seclusion, and I want a
lot of Orange crush and the "Green" album and that Led Zep album, too but
since this is not a christams list I resolve to get my overdue hooliday
shopping done. dammit. i hate myself for not making drunken confessions to
coke machines.
    11) I will make drunken confesisons to cigarette machines in dark alleys
at night and
    12) I will make damn sure that movie gets done!!!! Meeting next Saturday
or death! And liberty, and taxes, and New Mexico.
    13) I will be more surreal and take purple pills that make you say things
like "Dooooo!!"
    14) I will spend hours working on ascii art in the draw editor and then
have the thing leave the stupid resposne thing in the middle of the damn page
    16) I won't watch stupid movies or stya up past my deadtime anyomre (sorry
kit i felt like being bad and listneing to nin but htere's none here, just
"State of love and Trust" and "Satan's bed" which is growing on my brain in my
head, i swear it, satan is sleeping in my head and the nightmares are getting
to me, horses in my head, my skull oh, is going to crack.)
    17) I will write sadistic, murderous and encrypted OLMs to peopel I don't
    18) I will tell Hippie that his poetry deserves to be dropped in a big
volcano in Mordor.
        19) I will drop Hippie's Book O Poetry into a big volcano in Mordor.
    20) I will get rid of this damn ring.
    21) I will see Rocky Horror Picture Show.
    22) I will love her if it kills me.
    23) I will go to a REAL New Years Eve Party next year!!! (jk, absalom, i
don't want to loudly loudly dlunk, but bleeeh, those spinach casseroles
spinning in my head, they want something else but all i wanted all i should
have wanted was right there new years eve just past four oclock)
    24) start wearing a watch aroud Mattie, that didilating fool!
    25) heheee
    26) Doooooooooooo!!!!
    27) Stop making (i forgott waht i wasgoing to say here, I'll come back to
    28) Stop calling AR. (Really. Not just yet thou.)
    29) Though. And I will read all the books I sai i was going to read, i
forget now never mind. And in 21 i will see it with people whom worth it will
be it is to see with. Yes.
    30) I am going to treat my family as the bunch O kooks they are and my
sister i will be consistently bitchy to and my mom I will constantly tell okay
and good night mom and i'm leaving mom and stuff like that and dad is going to
drive me nuts with this black avenger talk day and night the black avenger
says this the black avenger says that i am fucking sick and tired of that
bastard and maybe if i blow up the radio station dad will go back to the
regularly scheduled banter but now he's being preempted.
    31) make a list that goes all the way up to 100 damnit. and send it over
the internet to hong kong and make the bastards wonder.
    32) Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in God above, if
the Bible tells you so? . Do you believe in rock and roll, can music save your
mortal soul, and can you teach me how to dance real slow?
    32) I am going to dance, and not feel foolish doing it. she may have taken
that from me because she really really dances but i love her for it, and maybe
if i can just rock with ehr a littel bit... ah, no one dances anymore... and i
am too embarrased to dance with her if i could. when she is with me.
    33) play backgammon. drink strawberry stuff that makes my tongue pink.
hey, that's two.
    44) take half the fucking campus with me! yes!
    34) oops, i have to go back and do those, i guess i missed a few. spread
ripples of good literature and feelnbs and poetryif that is necessary through
my friends and hopefully get everyone back togevver again, but thats
impossible and i wish i wish we were closer together because as soon as i am
back in school it's going to be the same old thing, in the dorm on a tuesday
watching KRAP-TV out of tupelo and wondering if there's anyone in the
chemistry department who would help me and it's the same thing it really is
the damn boredome of it all.
    35) Convince Wizards of the Coast that "Target creatures has flying
ability until end of turn" means that at the end of the turn the creature
loses flying ability so if you cast it on an opponents creature that flies,
you know what i mean? makes senes to me.
    36) Supply alan with an infinite supply of taglines.
    37) Stop using the same word twice in the same sentence. Ah, dammit i did
it again, dammit.
    38) Start leaving typoes. you know what i meant, i don't have to corect it
    39) and when are mattie and that chick going to get togehtre, anywaY!?
damn, it's about reaing time! *sigh* stop sighing and stop all this mirking
crak. mirk, mkirk. smirk. all over the place. you poeple pith me offl
    40) be a nice guy, but in a nurmal way. or nearly normal. normal, but
still me;. or, abnormal, but in a way i feel comfortalbye with, i mean, not
sick and twisted and abnormal that way like Afghan Whigs.
    41) get this DAMN madonna sng out of my head! and quit thinking "ne\rvana"
when i meant madonna!
    42) Like a prayer my ass! go write a book! pump up the volume.
    43) sing. and make it good.
    45) remember phone numbers. introduce alan to liv'y because she is sooo
neat, sweet, *contented sigh*
    46) remember 27. stop making passes at random pedestrians? no that's not
    47) sharpen pencisl every once in a while instead of stealing alan's. on
second thought, steal more of alan's pencils so i can have a stash. well,
okay, so i have a stash. scratch that, reverse it, okay then.
    48) give the sequel to thqta book to olivia. Charlie and the Great Glass
Elevator. ah, there is so much Roald Dahl that is simply delightful.
    49) stab a stake through the heart of one orf those damned idiots who
actually believes he is a vampire. die, fool!
    50) write lengthy letters to people i know won't write back, but that's
entirely okay.
    51) read a new dougls adams novel. i guess that's sort of putting the
pressure on him, i better notify him, hurry! i have to read it or i'll lose
all selfconfidence because i can't even read a stupid novel for a new year's
resolution just because he hsan't published one yet.
    52) find food worth eating. all htis stuff is crap.
    53) beat matt jones at magic.
    27) stop making up limeriks about insects i find around the house and
Specky's ass? no, that wasn't it...
    54) stop answering the phone "you bastards i am going to kill you all,
when i find out who you are i will hunt you down and i will have no mercy, do
you hear me? there's no escaping me because i'm everywhere and i am the eyes
on the back of your head and trigger shakes, aimed right at your head, 'won't
you help me?' help you for yourslf, WELL, you little bastard, YOU WILL
DIEEE!!! and i am going to thaw out the duke and you assholes will pay with a
number two pencil jammed sideways down your throat. Because I can, that's
    55) fidn out where i *really* am during this "lost time." and where all
the bloody blades come from.
    56) okay, so i copied off alan's paper, i pledge to stop doing that, too,
this year.
        57) start typing without looking at the screen lying on the floor
halfasleep at ungodly ours of the borning.
    58) okay, maybe this is n't it but next time i swear i will go to 100 and
you better believe i can, i swear to you and vi am so tired i am gonna drop
right here


    27) stop making the obvious jokes at the obvious times
    59) but most of all stop being such a typical typical person. because i
make the typical mistakes and that's JUSTL IKE ME and i never learn. well htis
year i swear i wil l lear.n. ooooh, man, am i dead.
    I wan tthat and thats just like meee.... befause it is. i forget who i was
thinking about when i heard that song... it was olivia and or liz... because
of course i wanted liz for weeks. but you know, .liz is not just like me and i
just deleted a few paragraphs of entirely too much text that no one wanted to
    you know liv'y. she is so lovely.
    good night all.
    there is a lonelyh person here, and if you think it's you you are
problably wrong, butoh, kid. eve n if i'm the kid and will be forever, and
well--i always sish there was something i could do.